Mean Moms Stink.

You know how in the movies,
mothers take their little angel children to a playgroup,
and within a few glorious hours they've formed bonds with the other mothers....
laughing and sharing stories as their kids play happily together?

Life's not like it is in the movies.
But isn't that just a little disappointing?

Today was Hudson's very first day at Little Gym,
along with 4 other beginner gymnasts,
and two that had attended class last year.

As the class started, each little one sat smiling, 
and listening to the teacher.
They clapped their hands and giggled and sang songs in unison.
Except for one little boy.
This little guy, bless his heart, was a ball of energy like I've never witnessed in my life. 
When the group was doing somersaults, 
he was hanging from the uneven bars.
When the group was teetering down the balance beam,
he was launching himself from the springboard.
He rolled himself inside of mats, he turned off the lights, he screamed....
he did just about everything he wasn't supposed to do. 
His mother was so embarrassed, 
and while trying to bounce her other child (a newborn) to contentment,
she would try to make excuses for him:
"he's never been in a playgroup before."
"he's all boy."
"he's just excited."
And every excuse she made,
I sat and answered...
"he's fine!"
"he's having a blast!"
"I'm sure he's not bothering anything."
The teacher even came out and said that he was doing alright,
and not to worry, this happens alllllll the time.

Before long,
one by one,
each child started to follow along with the little boy.
Hudson included. 
That little boy was clearly having such fun,
they had to join in.
The sweet teacher smiled, and went along with the flow,
encouraging the children, while also letting them play.

Then one of the other moms stormed out of her chair,
opened the door (that's a no-no during class)
and yelled at her own little boy,
who had just started jumping around with lil' mr. energy.
"So&So! You sit down right now and listen to your teacher!"

The poor mother of the energetic boy was so embarrassed.
Then the cranky mom spoke up and said:
"Yours may not have, but MY little boy HAS been to Mother's Morning Out, and 
he KNOWS BETTER than to behave that way."
My heart broke for that poor woman,
who clearly felt insulted and embarrassed...when there was not a thing in the world that she could do to restrain her child, who, after all, was just HAVING FUN.

These kids are three years old. 
At Little Gym. 
They are not in college studying Physics.
Can't they just have a good time?

So, while Hudson played,
instead of making new Mommy-friend connections,
I spent an hour feeling terrible for a fellow mother, 
who was clearly hurt, and dare I say bullied, by a different mom.
Where's the sisterhood?
Where's the "I've had those days, too!"
Where's the kindness?
I'll tell you where it ISN'T....
in the Little Gym lobby.

We are ALL proud of our kids. No matter
how they may act, or how they may look....
because on any given day,
you may not know exactly what you are in for with a toddler.
(can I get an Amen?)
That said, can't we just be nice to each other?
Wouldn't playgroups and public places and ANYWHERE
be a much happier place if we offered words of kindness,
instead of sneers and cut-downs?
I sure think so.

Despite the Mama Drama,
little Hudson had a blast.
I adore watching him learn new things, 
and I LOVE seeing his great big grin.
This is a BIG week for him...
he turns THREE on Sunday,
and this is his very first class-atmosphere activity.
He's been anticipating the fun at Little Gym for days now.
And he was ESPECIALLY excited, because I let him wear a t-shirt that says "B-Day Boy".....
oh, it's the little things.

Next week,
I hope my fellow mothers at Little Gym will unite in the common bond of motherhood....
and smile at each other. 
That's not so hard to ask, is it?
By the time the session ends, 
we may even be singing Kumbayah while holding hands in a big happy Mama circle.
Oh yeah.
We may make this life into a movie after all. 


Natasha said...

Silly Mama Drama! haha
There's always gotta be one Supermom in the crowd doesn't there?
Well at least the kidlets were able to have fun :)

misc.alaina said...

That really stinks! I do feel bad for that mom, but I feel worse for the child of the mean mom if he can't even have fun at the little gym! Glad Hudson enjoyed himself!!

Janette said...

Oh my gosh.. How horrible.. Poor momma that got yelled at:-( Truly people are just so quick to judge and mistreat others at the drop of a hat...It concerns me. I mean, yeah they're just 3..and boys are wild and fun and energetic... Let them be! Hopefully that screaming lady was just having a bad day... I hope next week is better and you get to sing your song and hold hands;-)

Janette, the Jongleur

PS. So happy Mr. Hudson had a blast!

Courtney B said...

Hudson is such a big boy!! 3 years old this Sunday! Time goes by toooo quickly!

I seriously felt so awkward while reading your story! That mom... how RUDE! I would probably start crying if another mother spoke to me that way! I'm so glad the kids were able to have fun... I just hope that poor mom takes mr energetic back to little gym, instead of missing out because another mother was so rude!

Anonymous said...

That's so awful she said that. I babysat twins for two years and used to take both of them by myself. And some days, I'd go crazy try to make them both sit and do the task. But you're so right... they are toddlers! I think those moms who say things like that are only trying to appear their kids are better than they are! Her boy is probably more energetic at home than the other little boy !

Eva Marie said...

I know all to well little balls of energy.. from my own little ball of energy and from my MANY MANY MANY young children with autism I work with.

Like you said they are 3.. let them play :)

Mariel Torres said...

wow i can't believe such behavior. kids are only kids once... let them have fun! they weren't hurting anyone the teacher was into it as well. how horrible! well, i'm glad hudson had a load of fun as well :D

PS. Your pictures always swoon me love

Cindy P said...

Time flies!! When I started reading your blog Hudson was just barely one! Wow! Happy Birthday to Hudson! I can't believe he's gotten so big. =)

I'm sorry that you had an uncomfortable experience with the mom's at the gym. That makes me sad how rude that other mother was. I hope that the one stinky mom didn't ruin the experience for the energetic little boy and his mom brings him back despite the "scolding". How rude that other lady was. =( I'm glad that Hudson had such a good time at the gym though and that he didn't have clue what was going on in the waiting area. I hope he continues to enjoy it!

Amanda said...

I'm so sorry to hear this! I don't understand why she couldn't let it go, especially if the teacher was going with the flow. Fingers crossed next week is better :)

Megan said...

That is sad. You're right... they are 3 YEARS OLD for petes sake. That Mom was lucky to have you by her side.

Anonymous said...

Although I see your point, she must have frustrations with him at home often where he does not listen and I can understand she would hope her son would set a good example FOR HER with all the moms watching, but that IS sad that she didn't realize that he was having fun and that they aren't in the Olympics and have to do everything perfectly!!!!! Kids should have fun, especially at 3! Sounds like you didn't have the best time watching, but at least Hudson is naive to what went on and had a great time!!! I enjoyed all the pictures and hearing you vent. I am sure you wanted to just tell her to sit down and shut up and watch. hahahaha. I've had moments like that when around other moms too. It is so hard!!!!

Amber said...

Oh mama drama. I havent had first hand experience with this but my boss who has three small kids tells me about horror stories of bully moms or cliquey moms. So not looking forward to that. Cant we all just get along...

HAPPY DAD said...

Well the main thing is Hudson had FUN. He is 3 and he was playing like he should. Sounds like the one acting out of place was that one mother. I am glad he had fun and I hope your next visit will be more comfortable.


Meri said...

oh good grief. I can't stand when parents get insecure and then take it out on their kids who are just trying to do the best they can and have fun!

Jen Daily said...

Wow. I could be the embarrassed mom in your story. My 5-year-old has been "that kid" since he started soccer at age 2.5. I always assumed he would grow out of it, so just tried to smile my way through his antics. But it is hard to sit there and watch your child be the cause of disruption. Especially because it is really out of your control. But I guess I am lucky, because i've never, ever been called out like that by another parent. If the same thing happens next week, I'm sure the mom would appreciate some kind words from you :)

Mrs. Pancakes said...

Sorry to hear that...mean moms do suck for sure. love the new layout!

Andrea Cerqua said...

I just stumbled on your blog, and this post in particular really got me thinking. Now I don't have any children of my own yet, but let me tell you when that time comes I sure hope I can find mothers like you to surround myself with. What a fantastic post and a real thought provoker, I think people often lose sight of the big picture and get so immersed with what they're thinking and feeling that they forget about the thoughts and feelings of others.

xoxo andrea